In the last eight months my life has become increasingly sedentary. I suppose that’s one of the (very few) hazards of office work. I get out of bed each morning, having been on my back for eight hours, only to drive to work to spend most of the day resting upon my posterior. I will then drive home from the office and sit in front of the computer or television, or behind a book or magazine. Then I will go back to bed. Then repeat ad infinitum. I wish I could say I spend my weekends rock climbing or hiking or engaged in hand-to-hand combat, or some other such equally aggressive cardio activity, but I don’t.  Recently the weekend has included sitting around on the beach.

My wife also works in an office. She recognized a trend towards physical inactivity months and months ago and has since addressed her concern with regular visits to the gym. She’s working out five or six times a week now for forty minutes to an hour at each interval.  While she’s busy panting and sweating I smoke my pipe and enjoy the idleness and quietude. But I know something has got to change. A flight of stairs should not have me winded.

I'm tempted to say Shelly dragged me to the gym with her this Saturday, but alas, the truth is I volunteered, having submitted to the ever amplifying anxiety in my bosom when accounting my health. Or maybe I’m just having chest pain anymore. Either way, it means it’s high time I get my heartbeat up once in a while.

The gym is not my idea of fun. Especially when you’re not fit. Plus, you can’t smoke a pipe when you’re working out, so automatically I don’t find it very conducive to my lifestyle of choice. If I can get to the point where I can run a few miles while smoking I think I’d enjoy torturing myself in this way a lot more, and, as I’ve been told, when getting into shape you need to set a goal. So that’s my goal - as contra-indicated as it might sound to some. I will give up being a lazy slob, and I'll get back into shape... but I will do it on my terms and with my pipe.

Hey, this sounds like an excuse to buy a new pipe if I ever heard one; something light-weight, agile, and sporting a nice saddle bit. Or perhaps, for those longer treks, a proper, old fashioned, deep-chambered Oom Paul?

Tonight’s choices include new works from the likes of Johs, Vauen, Peterson and PS Studio as well as Savinelli and Radice. And what’s a new pipe without some fresh tobacco? McClelland and Altadis have you covered with this update. Now I’m actually looking forward to my next workout.

Ted Swearingen: Sales Manager